Smile

There are lots of things that make me smile in the past. Well...not anymore.

I found that there are very few things that can actually make me smile now. I lost the smiling and laughing ability. When I mean smiling and laughing, I don't mean the physical ability, I mean sincerity-wise. I can smile, when people want me to or expect me to. I can laugh, when people want me to or expect me to. But those are not genuine.

You will probably wonder now, if I have sincerely and genuinely smiled or laughed recently. Yes, but very few. I think I am going through that college personality shift. I guess life isn't what I always thought it would be. When I was little, innocence told me that all people are nice, not as bad as daddy and mommy thought they were. Wrong. Not that I have people hurting me now, its just that...they are right. Human beings are selfish. Dad and Mom are right, people are evil.

Haha, you guys probably think I am negative. Don't get me wrong, there are good people in this world. However, like I said, whether they are sincere or not, its really hard to judge. Acting isn't such a hard thing, you know?

Growing up means facing reality and being realistic. I guess.
I envy little children.

But I am thankful for my roommates, my family, and Azhar, those people can actually make me smile sincerely and laugh genuinely. Thank God.